Simon's Blog

It is the last day of Year 2012 as I am writing this post. Things come and and go. Good or bad, we live with it and we learn from it. We would always want to make the right decision or think that we make the right decision. Real case is we aren't always making the right choices. And at times we will only see that the choice is flaw when the results are out. What do we do then? Cry over spill milk? Get up and move forward? Year 2013 would going to be big for me as there is at least one major thing coming up. And I do hope / wish that I would be able to get through it. Though life is hard, lets get tougher shall we?

2012 has been a fruitful (though the fruits are not plucked at the correct timing) and dishearting year (where the grass on the opposite could never always be green). There are few things to think through and new plans to be made. A time will come for the person to make decision and stay focus on it. A new year resolution is thought of. But writting them down on a piece of paper is never the style. What has happened can be lament upon but not to be drag down by it / them. We are to learn to move forward but never forget the lessons learned from it. In the end, we only live once. So lets live it to the fullest and may 2013 be a year for us to understand ourselves more.

It has been weeks. New work, new responsibilities. Longer distance travelling is required as compared to previous work. It seriously affects my strength and hamper my workout time. Even realize that I have started to take 2 dozes of multivitamin per day. Lack of concentration is spotted over my workout regime. Even if I am at home, my mind wanders around the place and would end up doing nothing productive. New semester has begun and I just made my way back to my first lesson (after missing the first 2 lessons). And there are lots to catch up. Assignments from previous semester to be look into. Re-assessment to be looked into as well. It is not going to be easy and I would need to myself together for this semester.

It is Oct 29. Morning was a rush for me, as I left my TnG card at home without realizing it till I reached the LRT station. I had to make a turn back to my house then again back to the station to catch my train. I have been having stiff neck for weeks. And it is annoying. My mind is contemplating to purchase a new pillow. But budget is bit low at my end for now. Last week had been bad for me. It is an anniversary that I would forget but not psychologically. It affected my mood, my attitude, my views over things. At least things are improving this morning and I do look forward to weekend as I have somthing planned for myself. Got a message via Jack'd. And found that the conversation is one-way. Luckily it has ended. If not, it would be wasting my time and effort (or even annoy me further).

The mind is willing but the body is restless. What causes it? I have no clue at all. It is getting more difficult each day as I need to drag myself out from my bed and face the challenges ahead. At times, I just feel like going away for a long time. But, commitment is the one and only things I got which is holding me back. The only relief I got is to see myself through by mid of next year.

It has been sometime since I last wrote. And I definitely needing this post as a outlet for me to blow off some steam. The last week has been busy for me. The new job, new boss, new expectations. Not to mention there is also assignment datelines coming up this coming week. The body is aching all over. The mind is scattering all over the place. The soul is drained, keeps me thinking if I should be getting myself closer to society. By saying that, I would say that I am getting lonely with my world and would like to try something else.

The moon is full as usual at this time of the month. Children and adults happily gathered around at the compound. Lanterns, candles are lit. Chairs, stools and tables are laid outside of the house. In another level, inside of a room sits a man before his laptop. Consumed by his thoughts, he never bothered to indulge himself in this festivity. Work-related stress, emotion-related stress, assignment-related stress are the only accompany he got. And, not to mention the moon is accompany him too. He managed finished off his 6-month old cigarettes. But yet his mind is still blank from any ideas that could help him. Emotion has not been his strength. It has been his demise. And it happens from time to time. He is mostly hurt from the process of wanting to get a partner. Those nights where no replies were given, his mind is like a wild horse chasing the wind. He can be said to be emotionally compromised. But yet he lives his days as if nothing has happened. He puts on a mask ...